Prepare them for Failure... and Success!

We all spend sufficient time and effort preparing our kids for success, but there is another face of life that they should be prepared for..."Failure". Do we spend equal time preparing our kids for this?

The current trend is of proud parents boasting of their kids special abilities and all their victories, but amidst all this, are our kids really prepared to face failure, especially when they have been successful long enough?

My niece did not call after getting her 12th board exam results for two full days after the results were out. Apparently she had been crying all day cause she had scored only 95% while her cousin had beat her clearly with a 98% aggregate. She was not prepared to face this, she skipped meals cried all day and refused to get along with life. It took a lot of coaxing and cajoling to get her to look at her further studies and her future, putting her past behind her. Why cant she feel good about her achievements without comparing herself with someone else, who probably has different set of abilities? If it was indeed a challenge, why was she not prepared to accept failure?

Just as we should be humble when we succeed, we should strengthen our resolve with a failure. In today's world, where kids are born talented and bright, we should teach our kids to fight till the end, rather than cheer them only when they win and rebuke when they lose. For kids who have been successful consistently, we should teach them that one day they will meet someone who is better than they are. They should be bold enough to acknowledge the fact and move on.
The other day, my husband was hitting the ball really hard while playing tennis with my 10 year old son. " Come on, you are playing with a 11 year old... maybe you should slow your pace" I said looking at my tired son. My husband replied "I lost the last 2 games to get him to feel good about being successful, but I want him to face failure too, he should not think that he is the best." True enough, my son lost the match, but when he came back from the game he was bubbling eagerly telling his father that next week he will win all three games. He also told "Dad played really well, I need more practice, but wait until next week!" That was a nice lesson to learn.

Today during lunch, my daughter said " Mom, I think I am going to be 4th in the singining competition this year, there are 3 new girls who have enrolled and they sing so well." My Son remarked " But you always comes first!" I was surprised when my daughter said " Ya I know, maybe I will scrape a third this time, but next time, I will make sure I practice more and sing better than them, but this time I think they are better"

I hope they keep the same spirit as they grow up, and as the competition keeps getting tougher and tougher. And for my part I keep reminding them that "for every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour!!"