Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean??

A timely forward I thought I could share...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, Mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -- boiling water -- but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Learning from the little one...

I did not realize that it is already four months since I got to pen a few lines. Guess I have lost the luxury of time to "reflect" or simply that I was too confused in running the race of life that I forgot to pause and think!!

Here's something that happened today, that set me thinking...
For want of some topic to talk in an attempt to keep the kids from watching television, I popped the question "If God granted you three wishes, what would you ask from him?"
" I need some time to think mom, its 3 wishes and it should cover all that I need" said my daughter, my son just smiled and continued playing with his hand held scrabble game.
"Ok you have five minues".. I said and waited.
After a couple of minutes, my daughter said, "Well I think I will ask God to make me fair" ( She is very concerned about her complexion, though she looks extremely pretty as she is, she always wanted to be fair), " I will ask for another barbie doll and for the last wish, I will ask for three more wishes" she said looking extremely pleased with her choices. My son was still uninterested in this coversation and kept playing his word game.
"Silesh, what will you ask for?" I prompted. He looked up at me and simply said "nothing".
"Nothing? are you sure, God will grant whatever you ask for you know" I said, now completely curious about what he might want to ask.
"Yeah I'll just say Thank you, I have everything I need and I'm happy just as I am" he said simply and continued with his game!

Its hard to find happiness with what we have, there's always that one little ellusive thing that we wish for to brighten up our lives. Here's one kid who seems to be happy with all that he has!!
I hope he will always be happy recognising and appreciating what he has instead of feeling miserable about what he does not have!!

The power of Gayathri Mantra

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed"

One of the most mysterious things that I have experienced is the power of the "Gayathri Mantra". From times immemorial, this mantra has been used as a medium for medidation to bring peace and sanity to the mind and body. I must admit that I do feel a strangely at peace while reciting or while listening to the recitation, and completely rejenuvated later on.

So, what is the Gayathri Mantra? Our very own Google provides the answers...

OM Bhur-Bhuvah-Svah.
Tat savitur varenyam
bhargo devasva dhimahi.
Dhiyo yo nah pracodayat.

'Gayatri Mantra', the ultimate Vedic prayer to awaken the intellectual powers of a person, first found its reference in the 'Rig Veda' believed to be the storehouse of all Divine Knowledge and the most ancient scriptures known to mankind. It is an invocation to the Sun-God or "Savitha", the life Giver on earth. Goddess Gayathri or Annapurna is the Mother-God.

The essence of the Mantra can be stated as follows - 'Oh God! Thou art the Giver of Life, Remover of pain and sorrow, The Bestower of happiness, Oh! Creator of the Universe, May we receive thy supreme sin-destroying light, May Thou guide our intellect in the right direction.'


Om: The primeval sound that represents Brahma,
Bhur: The physical world that embodies the vital spiritual energy or 'Pran',
Bhuvah: God who is the Creator and destroyer of all sufferings,
Swaha: The celestial and spiritual world that embodies happiness,
Tat: That or God, referring to transcendental Paramatma (Ultimate Spirit),
Savithur: That creative principle of light manifested through Sun
Varenyam: Best or most adorable, Supreme
Bhargo: That light that bestows wisdom, bliss and everlasting life
Devasya: Divine Deity or Supreme Lord,
Dheemahi: We meditate upon and take in,
Dhiyo: The Intellect,
Yo: The Light,
Nah: Our,
Prachodayath: Inspire or Enlighten.

Thus, the Gayatri Mantra can be translated as follows:

We meditate on the glory of the Creator; Who has created the Universe;Who is worthy of Worship; Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light; Who is the remover of all Sin and Ignorance; May He enlighten our Intellect.

This Mantra is not associated with any religion, sect, time, place or person.

'Gayatri' is not actually the Goddess, which sounds surprising but she is held in equal reverence because she is the mother of the Vedas or Divine Knowledge. The other two forms of Gayatri are Savitri and Saraswathi and these three are said to be present in everyone, in which - Gayatri is said to be the one to control the senses of a person. Gayathri is also referred to as "Panchamukhi" which directly refers to the five senses. Savitri controls the Prana or the Life Force of a person and Saraswathi controls Speech of a person. Thus, the three together represent the purity in thought, word, and deed. In the same order, Gayatri is said to enhance one's intelligence and intuition by recitation of the mantra, Savitri is said to protect the life forces and Saraswati is said to guard one's speech.

The correct recitation of Gayatri Mantra in the right accent as described in the Vedas produce certain vibrations that make the surrounding atmosphere visibly illumined, which is described as the 'Brahmaprakasha' or Effulgence of the Divine by more staunch believers. As prescribed by the Vedas, Gayatri mantra must be chanted at least three times a day during morning while taking bath, noon before eating lunch and evening at the time of sunset to cancel out all the sins that one may have done all through the day unknowingly. However, it is best to recite Gayatri period during the 'Satwik' or 'pure and serene' period during the day from 4 am to 8 am and 4 pm to 8 pm. The Gayatri Mantra should be recited while meditating upon the fact that everything is within oneself and thus, we should keep and develop confidence in the Self.

Appraisal Story... A neat one!

While some of us work really hard and challenge ourselves to reach new heights, there are always a few lucky ones who always do nothing, but get a "meets requirement" rating year after year followed by a standard increase in compensation. As I read this forward, I thought it would be good to dedicate this piece to all the "fellow donkeys" ( no offence meant, read along you might be nodding your head as you reach the end!)

Have you heard the story of "The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this...There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.Moral of the story "One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story...The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and the donkey became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer".

The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation...

Disclaimer:All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional

Keeping our Country clean is Our responsibility...

"Hi.. I'm XYZ", said the young man as he seated himself in the center seat of a rather crowded international airline. I responded with a tired but enthused "Hi". I was returning from a rather stressful business trip and the first leg of the Journey was equally bad, but I was returning "Home", that was reason enough to be cheerful. I was fortunate to get the aisle seat but traded it for the middle seat (yes!! sometimes I act like a Saint! ), on sensing the extreme discomfort of the rather tall young man. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do, but the act somehow acted as an ice-breaker and started off a rather long conversation.

Normally all I do in International flights is dive into a book or into deep sleep! The conversation irritated me, but I had to live up to my Saintly introduction. I was told that this young man was a resident of London and a doctor. He had been living in London for the last 12 years, and was an Indian by birth. In the next hour he had told me all about his family, his kids, his house and work, pausing only to take a sip of scotch now and then. I listened half-heartedly until he began comparing India with London. He spoke of London as being a place of educated well mannered people, not to mention the cleanliness of the surroundings and the superb infrastructure. He spoke at length of the clean cities in the world, of Singapore banning chewing gum from their Country with the intention of keeping the Country clean, he spoke about the heavy fines for littering and said that similar things should be done in India too. I began losing interest at the constant babble, and hoped he would sleep soon, and he did sleep for the last 3 hours of the flight.

On alighting at Bangalore international airport, we parted ways, but I kept noticing how he sulked and stared at the airport (this was the old HAL Airport), not forgetting to mention that the airport was not at all up to international standards. As he walked to the immigration Q he picked up a toffee from his coat pocket and threw the wrapper on the floor! This was followed by the incorrectly filled immigration forms which hit the floor too! I walked up to him and said" Would you dare to do that in London, doctor? Keeping the Country clean is everyone's responsibility. If an educated person like you can do this, what do you expect from a poor illiterate man, who worries about nothing but his next meal?" Saying this I picked up the toffee wrapper and the forms that lay on the ground and put them in the dust bin (the ‘Saint’ in me was really at its best!). I will never forget the look of shame in the young doctor's eyes!!

Prepare them for Failure... and Success!

We all spend sufficient time and effort preparing our kids for success, but there is another face of life that they should be prepared for..."Failure". Do we spend equal time preparing our kids for this?

The current trend is of proud parents boasting of their kids special abilities and all their victories, but amidst all this, are our kids really prepared to face failure, especially when they have been successful long enough?

My niece did not call after getting her 12th board exam results for two full days after the results were out. Apparently she had been crying all day cause she had scored only 95% while her cousin had beat her clearly with a 98% aggregate. She was not prepared to face this, she skipped meals cried all day and refused to get along with life. It took a lot of coaxing and cajoling to get her to look at her further studies and her future, putting her past behind her. Why cant she feel good about her achievements without comparing herself with someone else, who probably has different set of abilities? If it was indeed a challenge, why was she not prepared to accept failure?

Just as we should be humble when we succeed, we should strengthen our resolve with a failure. In today's world, where kids are born talented and bright, we should teach our kids to fight till the end, rather than cheer them only when they win and rebuke when they lose. For kids who have been successful consistently, we should teach them that one day they will meet someone who is better than they are. They should be bold enough to acknowledge the fact and move on.
The other day, my husband was hitting the ball really hard while playing tennis with my 10 year old son. " Come on, you are playing with a 11 year old... maybe you should slow your pace" I said looking at my tired son. My husband replied "I lost the last 2 games to get him to feel good about being successful, but I want him to face failure too, he should not think that he is the best." True enough, my son lost the match, but when he came back from the game he was bubbling eagerly telling his father that next week he will win all three games. He also told "Dad played really well, I need more practice, but wait until next week!" That was a nice lesson to learn.

Today during lunch, my daughter said " Mom, I think I am going to be 4th in the singining competition this year, there are 3 new girls who have enrolled and they sing so well." My Son remarked " But you always comes first!" I was surprised when my daughter said " Ya I know, maybe I will scrape a third this time, but next time, I will make sure I practice more and sing better than them, but this time I think they are better"

I hope they keep the same spirit as they grow up, and as the competition keeps getting tougher and tougher. And for my part I keep reminding them that "for every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour!!"

Something special

This is a good piece too... It brought tears to my eyes!

One day Maths teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two Sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.


No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in ' Kargil' war and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never attended Funeral of a serviceman before. He looked so handsome, so mature.
The place was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk. The teacher was the last one to bless.


As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Sanjay's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Sanjay talked about you a lot.'


After the funeral, most of Sanjay's former classmates were there. Sanjay's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Sanjay when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'


Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Sanjay's classmates had said about him.


'Thank you so much for doing that,' Sanjay's mother said. 'As you can see, Sanjay treasured it.'


All of Sanjay's former classmates started to gather around. Arjun smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'


Prithwiraj's wife said, ' Prithwiraj asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Rashmi said. 'It's in my diary'


Then Deepali, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Deepali said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'


That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Sanjay and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.


So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

That's a good "Leader"

'A Leader Should Know How to Manage Failure'

This is another one of those "email gems"...

(Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum , Philadelphia, March 22,2008)
Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?
Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India's "Rohini" satellite into orbit by 1980. I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.
By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order. My experts -- I had four or five of them with me -- told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal. It was a big failure.
That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India]. Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.
The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, "You conduct the press conference today."
I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.

A prayer to God..

"World's most dangerous drugs".. The title of the program aroused enough curiosity to keep my hands off the remote for a while and watch the National Geographic channel. What I saw really terrified me.. how a simple experiment, a curious teenager, a hip party and peer pressure, contributed to making full blown drug addicts. Most of the references in the program were drawn to simple people from ordinary families, and the story of how the drug destroyed their life and their family.
Equally shocking was the easy availability of the drug in the market, and the meciless destruction that the drug can inflict on the user. It was heart rending to watch the mothers of these kids say that they had no clue what their ward was up to until it reached a point of "no-return".
I could not sleep for weeks together, brooding about how I can sheild my own kids from temptation. Awareness, and more awareness, and keeping a close watch on the kids, without being too intrusive, and also making efforts to meet and understand the type of friends that the kids move around with and having candid discussion with them should help. Making life a challange that they can live up to without having to find their "highs' in the market, and spending more time as a "family" should help too. As I gear up for the challange of having 2 teenagers at home in a couple of years, I keep my fingers crossed and mutter my prayers to God, begging him to protect my darlings from the bad world!!

Its Appraisal time...

The first quarter of the year always begins with a bang! Literally a bang.. cause that's the time appraisals are done and promotions and salary revisions are contemplated. Its also a time when you have extremely satisfied or extremely frustrated employees and over-worked managers.
This year is particularly challenging, cause I have a dozen extremely good performers whom I need to evaluate and appraise. So, I have the responsibility of aiding their growth up the corporate ladder, which can be a big challenge considering the fact that we have a very flat organization structure, where you cannot promote a "Manager" to be a "Senior Manager" and make him happy, add to that the falling dollar value and the generally stagnant software industry, the challange magnifies!

Although I have made a very fair assessment, I am sure I will be one of those managers who are blamed for not being fair, not respecting age or experience ... etc., Most of this can be avoided if we are able to appraise ourselves, and see our own plus'es and minuses.

The first rule is never compare yourself with another employee. Understand that each one has their own skills and each of us is different! A good illustration of this fact can be obtained from this snippet:

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

Rule number two, never argue with your Manager, always accept feedback and work towards bettering yourself. The end of the year is not the right time to argue, you had the full year to do it!

Third rule, always keep expectations low, the higher you jump, the harder you fall!

Final rule is for the appraisers, appraise the work and not the person. Be fair and support your rating with facts.

Last but not the least... when your work speaks for itself.. . just move out of the way!!