Reflections

"Haunted" - 3D Scare or 3D comedy?

2011-05-23T11:20:00.000+05:30

What better way to enjoy the "boss's" absence then by sneaking a few hours to watch a movie? Well thats what we did. All of us really wanted a good scare. Going by the name and the posters we really believed that this movie will give us the fright we were looking for.

Slipping out of work is not a very easy thing to do. It takes a certain level of slickness that we all lacked. None the less we managed to sneak out and reach the theatre ontime for the show to commence.

From the frst shot what we all noticed was a confused expression on the hero's face. From then on reel after reel we were never short of being amused. One scene after the other passed and all of us were left waiting for the "haunting" to begin.

We learnt a lot though.... like some ideas on spirtis getting most strong at 3AM and being the weakest at 3PM. We also learnt that through the cigar smoke of a vagabond, one can be trasported from 2011 to 1930 ( what a fool that was who made the time machine!!) Call it history repeating itself, but literally in this case. The story has no basis, no truth, no scare very obvious scenes and the last 20 minute drag to get the movie to complete the 2 hours 30 minutes timeframe.

I would definitely rate this one as a comedy rather than a horror movie. Infact we enjoyed the comments from the back rows more than we enjoyed the movie. But hey, not all is lost, there is just one wee bit of silver lining. The hero is shown running for most part of the movie. Every second scene has the hero running. Maybe it would be cool to enroll him in the national level athletics team. He might just do well with all the practice he has had through this movie!

My unsuccessful driving lessons!

2011-03-20T19:07:00.003+05:30

My driving / riding phobia dates back to the period when I was 10 years old. While most 10 year olds would be excited at the prospect of getting a new bi-cycle, I was terrified. My dad did his best to pick the most toy-like, extremely safe BSA SLR He took enough trouble to get it into the garage secretly intending it to be a big sweet surprise for my birthday. I was surprised though, not pleasantly. I just could not get myself to sit on it and attempt to ride. I did pose next to it and take a couple of fabulous photographs though!

I vaguely remember my dad coaxing me to just try it once promising that he will hold on and not let me fall. I also remember him holding on to the bicycle and pleading with me to push the pedals and move ahead. All this effort resulted in nothing.. I just could not get the confidence to pedal on my own. My father decided that instead of running behind my bi-cycle it would be better to offer me a lift if I needed to go anywhere.

I never ceased to admire those who could cycle on their own. I kind of hero worshipped my friends who cycled to school. To me that was as close as flying a fighter jet or something! I still relied on my good old dad for dropping me and picking me up where ever I needed to go. My father got tired of ferrying me around, probably fed up with the giggly teenager friends of mine and generally upset that I never had the motivation to go around on my own.

He tried to introduce some excitement again when I joined college. He brought home a Bajaj Sunny ( again a safe, low weight, easy to handle two-wheeler ). He was growing older and could not run behind the Sunny as efficiently as he ran behind the bi-cycle. The results are not too hard to imagine. My first trial resulted in a bruised knee and a bruised Sunny! There ended my attempt to skip the cycle and learn to ride the bike.

Fathers don’t give up that easily. He waited until I finished college and tempted me with a small car ( the very safe and snug Maruthi 800). He even got me enrolled into a driving school. The instructor tried to be as patient as possible. I somehow could not get it… the difference between the brake and the accelerator. Every time I changed gears, the car had to be re-started. After a couple of days the instructor started losing patience and I started making excuses ( feeling sick, special class, very important audit, etc., ) The results…. Another 2k paid to the driving school, down in the drain.

I have to admit, somewhat shamefully that I still haven’t been able to grasp the skills of driving. I was hoping that my kids don’t take after me. I am glad that my son’s excitement at getting a bicycle for his birthday was real. He can ride bikes with ease and has even tried driving our family car in the empty ground near my home. He is all of 12 years and has been able to subordinate the bikes and cars. I am relieved!

All I have to do now is to wait for him to turn 18, he has promised to drive me around when it would be legal for him to do so. Meanwhile I pray that he won’t change his mind!!

Another New Begining!

2011-01-21T10:12:00.001+05:30

A new year brings new hope, new light and promises a new beginning. I am so looking forward to the “New Beginning”!

Last year was perhaps the worst in all my life. It was plagued with problems that came one after another and sometimes as a tirade all at once! I was literally buried. Obviously I blamed everyone else for my bad state, but myself. I have read great books on how to deal with problems, but none of them seemed right for practical application.

I ended up walloping in self pity, blaming the creator for having been so merciless, made myself miserable and surely passed on the same feeling to those around me as well. I gave up writing, reading, talking to friends, responding to emails, attending functions or parties, participating in outings and generally stayed disconnected from all those who really cared for me. What this really did was magnified all the issues and made it look even scarier.

One day, as I was cleaning up my book shelf, I noticed one of Robin Sharma’s book “ Who will cry when you die?”. In this book, he talks about setting aside a time for “Worrying” so that we don’t end up spending a lot of time on it. Worrying is definitely not going to improve state of things anywhere. I tried to become a little more practical or realistic with what ever I was worrying about. No doubt some of them were really big issues that would have a major impact on my life, however when I really looked at it more closely, the probability of something that big happening was maybe less than 1%. I had to work hard to pull myself out of the shell that I had forcibly put myself into and step out into the sunshine.

Suddenly, the whole world looks more beautiful now, the morning mist seems so pleasant and the constant chirping of birds is not irritating anymore. I have a strong realization that I have wasted one year of my life, and am convinced that I am going to make up for it!

I hope everyone is blessed with a lot of good health, peace and general well-being all through this year!!

Carrot, Egg or Coffee Bean??

2009-01-16T23:33:00.002+05:30

A timely forward I thought I could share...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, Mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -- boiling water -- but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Learning from the little one...

2008-12-27T18:38:00.001+05:30

I did not realize that it is already four months since I got to pen a few lines. Guess I have lost the luxury of time to "reflect" or simply that I was too confused in running the race of life that I forgot to pause and think!!

Here's something that happened today, that set me thinking...
For want of some topic to talk in an attempt to keep the kids from watching television, I popped the question "If God granted you three wishes, what would you ask from him?"
" I need some time to think mom, its 3 wishes and it should cover all that I need" said my daughter, my son just smiled and continued playing with his hand held scrabble game.
"Ok you have five minues".. I said and waited.
After a couple of minutes, my daughter said, "Well I think I will ask God to make me fair" ( She is very concerned about her complexion, though she looks extremely pretty as she is, she always wanted to be fair), " I will ask for another barbie doll and for the last wish, I will ask for three more wishes" she said looking extremely pleased with her choices. My son was still uninterested in this coversation and kept playing his word game.
"Silesh, what will you ask for?" I prompted. He looked up at me and simply said "nothing".
"Nothing? are you sure, God will grant whatever you ask for you know" I said, now completely curious about what he might want to ask.
"Yeah I'll just say Thank you, I have everything I need and I'm happy just as I am" he said simply and continued with his game!

Its hard to find happiness with what we have, there's always that one little ellusive thing that we wish for to brighten up our lives. Here's one kid who seems to be happy with all that he has!!
I hope he will always be happy recognising and appreciating what he has instead of feeling miserable about what he does not have!!

The power of Gayathri Mantra

2008-08-24T19:53:00.002+05:30

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed"

One of the most mysterious things that I have experienced is the power of the "Gayathri Mantra". From times immemorial, this mantra has been used as a medium for medidation to bring peace and sanity to the mind and body. I must admit that I do feel a strangely at peace while reciting or while listening to the recitation, and completely rejenuvated later on.

So, what is the Gayathri Mantra? Our very own Google provides the answers...

OM Bhur-Bhuvah-Svah.
Tat savitur varenyam
bhargo devasva dhimahi.
Dhiyo yo nah pracodayat.

'Gayatri Mantra', the ultimate Vedic prayer to awaken the intellectual powers of a person, first found its reference in the 'Rig Veda' believed to be the storehouse of all Divine Knowledge and the most ancient scriptures known to mankind. It is an invocation to the Sun-God or "Savitha", the life Giver on earth. Goddess Gayathri or Annapurna is the Mother-God.

The essence of the Mantra can be stated as follows - 'Oh God! Thou art the Giver of Life, Remover of pain and sorrow, The Bestower of happiness, Oh! Creator of the Universe, May we receive thy supreme sin-destroying light, May Thou guide our intellect in the right direction.'

Om: The primeval sound that represents Brahma,
Bhur: The physical world that embodies the vital spiritual energy or 'Pran',
Bhuvah: God who is the Creator and destroyer of all sufferings,
Swaha: The celestial and spiritual world that embodies happiness,
Tat: That or God, referring to transcendental Paramatma (Ultimate Spirit),
Savithur: That creative principle of light manifested through Sun
Varenyam: Best or most adorable, Supreme
Bhargo: That light that bestows wisdom, bliss and everlasting life
Devasya: Divine Deity or Supreme Lord,
Dheemahi: We meditate upon and take in,
Dhiyo: The Intellect,
Yo: The Light,
Nah: Our,
Prachodayath: Inspire or Enlighten.

Thus, the Gayatri Mantra can be translated as follows:

We meditate on the glory of the Creator; Who has created the Universe;Who is worthy of Worship; Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light; Who is the remover of all Sin and Ignorance; May He enlighten our Intellect.

This Mantra is not associated with any religion, sect, time, place or person.

'Gayatri' is not actually the Goddess, which sounds surprising but she is held in equal reverence because she is the mother of the Vedas or Divine Knowledge. The other two forms of Gayatri are Savitri and Saraswathi and these three are said to be present in everyone, in which - Gayatri is said to be the one to control the senses of a person. Gayathri is also referred to as "Panchamukhi" which directly refers to the five senses. Savitri controls the Prana or the Life Force of a person and Saraswathi controls Speech of a person. Thus, the three together represent the purity in thought, word, and deed. In the same order, Gayatri is said to enhance one's intelligence and intuition by recitation of the mantra, Savitri is said to protect the life forces and Saraswati is said to guard one's speech.

The correct recitation of Gayatri Mantra in the right accent as described in the Vedas produce certain vibrations that make the surrounding atmosphere visibly illumined, which is described as the 'Brahmaprakasha' or Effulgence of the Divine by more staunch believers. As prescribed by the Vedas, Gayatri mantra must be chanted at least three times a day during morning while taking bath, noon before eating lunch and evening at the time of sunset to cancel out all the sins that one may have done all through the day unknowingly. However, it is best to recite Gayatri period during the 'Satwik' or 'pure and serene' period during the day from 4 am to 8 am and 4 pm to 8 pm. The Gayatri Mantra should be recited while meditating upon the fact that everything is within oneself and thus, we should keep and develop confidence in the Self.

Appraisal Story... A neat one!

2008-08-15T19:02:00.001+05:30

While some of us work really hard and challenge ourselves to reach new heights, there are always a few lucky ones who always do nothing, but get a "meets requirement" rating year after year followed by a standard increase in compensation. As I read this forward, I thought it would be good to dedicate this piece to all the "fellow donkeys" ( no offence meant, read along you might be nodding your head as you reach the end!)

Have you heard the story of "The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this...There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.Moral of the story "One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story...The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and the donkey became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer".

The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation...

Disclaimer:All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional

Keeping our Country clean is Our responsibility...

2008-07-07T10:56:00.003+05:30

"Hi.. I'm XYZ", said the young man as he seated himself in the center seat of a rather crowded international airline. I responded with a tired but enthused "Hi". I was returning from a rather stressful business trip and the first leg of the Journey was equally bad, but I was returning "Home", that was reason enough to be cheerful. I was fortunate to get the aisle seat but traded it for the middle seat (yes!! sometimes I act like a Saint! ), on sensing the extreme discomfort of the rather tall young man. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do, but the act somehow acted as an ice-breaker and started off a rather long conversation.

Normally all I do in International flights is dive into a book or into deep sleep! The conversation irritated me, but I had to live up to my Saintly introduction. I was told that this young man was a resident of London and a doctor. He had been living in London for the last 12 years, and was an Indian by birth. In the next hour he had told me all about his family, his kids, his house and work, pausing only to take a sip of scotch now and then. I listened half-heartedly until he began comparing India with London. He spoke of London as being a place of educated well mannered people, not to mention the cleanliness of the surroundings and the superb infrastructure. He spoke at length of the clean cities in the world, of Singapore banning chewing gum from their Country with the intention of keeping the Country clean, he spoke about the heavy fines for littering and said that similar things should be done in India too. I began losing interest at the constant babble, and hoped he would sleep soon, and he did sleep for the last 3 hours of the flight.

On alighting at Bangalore international airport, we parted ways, but I kept noticing how he sulked and stared at the airport (this was the old HAL Airport), not forgetting to mention that the airport was not at all up to international standards. As he walked to the immigration Q he picked up a toffee from his coat pocket and threw the wrapper on the floor! This was followed by the incorrectly filled immigration forms which hit the floor too! I walked up to him and said" Would you dare to do that in London, doctor? Keeping the Country clean is everyone's responsibility. If an educated person like you can do this, what do you expect from a poor illiterate man, who worries about nothing but his next meal?" Saying this I picked up the toffee wrapper and the forms that lay on the ground and put them in the dust bin (the ‘Saint’ in me was really at its best!). I will never forget the look of shame in the young doctor's eyes!!

Prepare them for Failure... and Success!

2008-06-28T18:40:00.001+05:30

We all spend sufficient time and effort preparing our kids for success, but there is another face of life that they should be prepared for..."Failure". Do we spend equal time preparing our kids for this?

The current trend is of proud parents boasting of their kids special abilities and all their victories, but amidst all this, are our kids really prepared to face failure, especially when they have been successful long enough?

My niece did not call after getting her 12th board exam results for two full days after the results were out. Apparently she had been crying all day cause she had scored only 95% while her cousin had beat her clearly with a 98% aggregate. She was not prepared to face this, she skipped meals cried all day and refused to get along with life. It took a lot of coaxing and cajoling to get her to look at her further studies and her future, putting her past behind her. Why cant she feel good about her achievements without comparing herself with someone else, who probably has different set of abilities? If it was indeed a challenge, why was she not prepared to accept failure?

Just as we should be humble when we succeed, we should strengthen our resolve with a failure. In today's world, where kids are born talented and bright, we should teach our kids to fight till the end, rather than cheer them only when they win and rebuke when they lose. For kids who have been successful consistently, we should teach them that one day they will meet someone who is better than they are. They should be bold enough to acknowledge the fact and move on.
The other day, my husband was hitting the ball really hard while playing tennis with my 10 year old son. " Come on, you are playing with a 11 year old... maybe you should slow your pace" I said looking at my tired son. My husband replied "I lost the last 2 games to get him to feel good about being successful, but I want him to face failure too, he should not think that he is the best." True enough, my son lost the match, but when he came back from the game he was bubbling eagerly telling his father that next week he will win all three games. He also told "Dad played really well, I need more practice, but wait until next week!" That was a nice lesson to learn.

Today during lunch, my daughter said " Mom, I think I am going to be 4th in the singining competition this year, there are 3 new girls who have enrolled and they sing so well." My Son remarked " But you always comes first!" I was surprised when my daughter said " Ya I know, maybe I will scrape a third this time, but next time, I will make sure I practice more and sing better than them, but this time I think they are better"

I hope they keep the same spirit as they grow up, and as the competition keeps getting tougher and tougher. And for my part I keep reminding them that "for every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour!!"

Something special

2008-05-16T23:41:00.002+05:30

This is a good piece too... It brought tears to my eyes!

One day Maths teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two Sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in ' Kargil' war and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never attended Funeral of a serviceman before. He looked so handsome, so mature.
The place was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk. The teacher was the last one to bless.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Sanjay's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Sanjay talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Sanjay's former classmates were there. Sanjay's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Sanjay when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Sanjay's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Sanjay's mother said. 'As you can see, Sanjay treasured it.'

All of Sanjay's former classmates started to gather around. Arjun smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Prithwiraj's wife said, ' Prithwiraj asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Rashmi said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Deepali, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Deepali said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Sanjay and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

That's a good "Leader"

2008-05-06T19:24:00.004+05:30

'A Leader Should Know How to Manage Failure'

This is another one of those "email gems"...

(Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum , Philadelphia, March 22,2008)
Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?
Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India's "Rohini" satellite into orbit by 1980. I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.
By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order. My experts -- I had four or five of them with me -- told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal. It was a big failure.
That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India]. Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.
The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, "You conduct the press conference today."
I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.

A prayer to God..

2008-02-23T03:36:00.002+05:30

"World's most dangerous drugs".. The title of the program aroused enough curiosity to keep my hands off the remote for a while and watch the National Geographic channel. What I saw really terrified me.. how a simple experiment, a curious teenager, a hip party and peer pressure, contributed to making full blown drug addicts. Most of the references in the program were drawn to simple people from ordinary families, and the story of how the drug destroyed their life and their family.
Equally shocking was the easy availability of the drug in the market, and the meciless destruction that the drug can inflict on the user. It was heart rending to watch the mothers of these kids say that they had no clue what their ward was up to until it reached a point of "no-return".
I could not sleep for weeks together, brooding about how I can sheild my own kids from temptation. Awareness, and more awareness, and keeping a close watch on the kids, without being too intrusive, and also making efforts to meet and understand the type of friends that the kids move around with and having candid discussion with them should help. Making life a challange that they can live up to without having to find their "highs' in the market, and spending more time as a "family" should help too. As I gear up for the challange of having 2 teenagers at home in a couple of years, I keep my fingers crossed and mutter my prayers to God, begging him to protect my darlings from the bad world!!

Its Appraisal time...

2008-01-20T18:53:00.000+05:30

The first quarter of the year always begins with a bang! Literally a bang.. cause that's the time appraisals are done and promotions and salary revisions are contemplated. Its also a time when you have extremely satisfied or extremely frustrated employees and over-worked managers.
This year is particularly challenging, cause I have a dozen extremely good performers whom I need to evaluate and appraise. So, I have the responsibility of aiding their growth up the corporate ladder, which can be a big challenge considering the fact that we have a very flat organization structure, where you cannot promote a "Manager" to be a "Senior Manager" and make him happy, add to that the falling dollar value and the generally stagnant software industry, the challange magnifies!

Although I have made a very fair assessment, I am sure I will be one of those managers who are blamed for not being fair, not respecting age or experience ... etc., Most of this can be avoided if we are able to appraise ourselves, and see our own plus'es and minuses.

The first rule is never compare yourself with another employee. Understand that each one has their own skills and each of us is different! A good illustration of this fact can be obtained from this snippet:

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."

Rule number two, never argue with your Manager, always accept feedback and work towards bettering yourself. The end of the year is not the right time to argue, you had the full year to do it!

Third rule, always keep expectations low, the higher you jump, the harder you fall!

Final rule is for the appraisers, appraise the work and not the person. Be fair and support your rating with facts.

Last but not the least... when your work speaks for itself.. . just move out of the way!!

Family

2008-01-17T03:48:00.000+05:30

I thought I received another one of those emails that I normally give a cursory glance before going for the "Delete" button. . This one was different. As I read through it I realized that it was a clear mirror of my own story.. I had tears on my eyes by the time I reached the end.

We take so many things for granted in life...read on.. this one was my lesson for the day..

F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

.....
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Invest more time to love and care your children and parents.....
Realize the value of Family......

.. another year gone by....

2007-12-29T18:37:00.000+05:30

December is that time of the year when I reflect on the past and make metal note of things that went well, and things that didn't. It serves as the basis for my New Year resolutions. January is the time to make those lofty resolutions and also rejoice at initial success at having accomplished what was expected for a short time, and February is the time to go back to being myself and resolve never to make resolutions again!

This year is no different. I look back at 2007, I am able to do so with a sence of achievement. On the home front, my two kiddos were awarded the best student award for consistently scoring the highest marks, My son got over stage fear and gave a flawless performance in his school Annual day, my daughter is progressing really well with her classical music lessons. Since the kids' achievement is the mum's achievement, I really want to give myself a pat on the back and say "thats a job well done"!

During the last year, I have had many challanges and opportunities, and have tried to make a success of it all, including buying a small home in Bangalore, which is no mean task ! I can look back and say "Thank you God for all your small favors"

What is my focus for 2008? Well you must have guessed it already. Its not going to be much different from the small resolutions of 2007, the only thing that I wish to add this year, is a resolution to break the February jinx and move on atleast for the next couple of months!

The world is becoming a more complicated place, life is becoming more challenging... you see, you cant cross a chasm in two small steps, so I am not going to be afraid to take that big step towards a more positive and peaceful 2008!

Wish you all a wonderful New Year!

Hits and Misses

2007-12-22T02:40:00.000+05:30

"The first 90% of the project takes 90% of time and the remaining 10% takes another 90%"

I have decided to pen a few lines today, after a very long break, with a hope that it will bring in the diversion that I yearn for. Its 2:30AM, Saturday morning. I am still stuck with my faithful companion, my laptop and a few other colleagues, trying to get our project move from 90% to 100%. As I look back at my last few months, I have accomplished a great deal.... or have I??

I have been successful in bringing my project to the highlights by turning the arrow from failure to success, but I have not seen the happy look on my kids faces as they deboard the school van for nearly 2 months! I have built a successful team of 10, who the management trusts to turn coal into diamonds, but I heard from the teacher who teaches mental maths that my son is not practicing enough. I have grown from the position of a leader to the position of manager, but my mom has to remind me that I have not eaten since morning. I have earned accolades from my counterparts in the US, but my daughter wants to know if I am not competent enough to become a teacher in her school. I have created several detailed documents for our project, but the pages in my diary remain empty!

As I sit back an take a few minutes to peek into the last few months, my achievements seem so small to what I missed!

I am going to make a postive effort to mend my ways and enjoy while I work.

"Every day brings a chance for you to take a deep breadth, kick off your shoes and dance". Have you used your chance yet?

Merry Christmas everybody!

I'm Back

2007-11-30T03:01:00.001+05:30

It has been nearly four months since I actually visited this page. I have definitely not stopped dreaming or thinking.. its just that I have had a few hectic months, that kept me away from doing what I loved doing most.

A lot happened during these couple of months, and I really need to catch up. But rest assured, I am back and hope to commence keeping my diary from now on!

.. A glimpse of Self-less love at the airport

2007-07-12T04:54:00.000+05:30

Hmm.. Another trip.. another one week trip.. Oh no!! Unfortunately, it is a trip that I cannot escape. So, I had to pack my bags again and set off on a 22 hour journey across the Atlantic.As I always mention, I hate these one week escapades, add to that the last minute reservations indicative of having to travel economy class in the scariest airline ( I wont mention the name of the airline for obvious reasons!)

This time I tried to look around me in the airport, instead of looking only into my laptop or my book as I usually do. Just trying to analyse the type of travellers..

First, there was an enthusiastic bunch of young guys. I figured that they were highly optimistic or first time travellers, since that is the only thing that can keep one awake and kicking at 2:00AM in the pathetic waiting hall of our international airport at Bangalore. They seemed to be engaged in animated conversation emitting occasional guffaws that turned many heads. It was good to see a group of happy people. Just next to them sat a young girl, looking at her boarding pass and passport every second minute.. Hmm another first-time traveller. You could tell from her nervousness that she was worried about everything.. starting from the flight schedule, to her connecting flight to her baggage!

Around the corner of the hall sat another traveller, trying to catch a few winks of precious sleep, despite the noise and suffocation around her. Just opposite her sat another gentleman with a "I give a damn" look. He seemed to critisize the Indian Government for everything.. starting from bad roads to poor conditions in the airport.. Hmm "a recent green card holder" is what I inferred with his attitude and his "In America..." style of speech. He was infact forcing his neighbour to listen to his rantings about life in America!!

A couple of regulars.. with the same boring expression, couple of others busy reading or listening to music, but on the whole minding their own business. Then there were families returning to their "home" after their vacation in India.. THey kind of stood out from the crowd with the kids speaking the American English and parents desperately trying to get them talk in their mother tongue!

But what really touched me was to see an aged couple trying struglling with their luggage, passports and tickets.. trying to figure out which way to go.. and what comes after what. First timers again. They could hardly walk straight, could not see clearly but held on to each other for support. I helped them through the formalities as they seemed lost. The couple was very thankful. They began chatting with me, like the people of their age normally do. I got to learn that the old lady suddenly took fancy to seeing her only grand daughter, unfortunately their son could not bring his family home for more than 2 years.. (' too much of work' is the excuse that the couple seemed to be fed with). So they figured that the only way out would be to go to America by themselves. The couple were full of praises for their son, saying that he will be there to receive them and would take good care of them. It really moved me to see a couple of their age swimming against the tide to do something as simple as visiting their grand-daughter!!

I wish they had a safe trip and reached their family. I will always remember this couple as a symbol of self-less love!!

The Good ole days of the Khakhi clad Messaih!

2007-06-22T11:27:00.000+05:30

The incessant "tring, Tring" of the cycle bells remind me of just one thing..."The Postman".

When I set foot into my 4th standard, my father insisted that I should begin writing letters That was one sure way of learning English with a bonus of keeping in touch with relatives and friends. After a long discussion with my brothers and my Mom, I decided to write my first letter to my uncle. Now, this man is an expert in English language and his writings hogged the limelight in almost all the National Newspapers. I must admit that I needed a dictionary to help me when I attempted to read any of his writings! One of the best things about him was that he always responded to the letters he received, never complained about lack of time even once! Remember, those were the days the pen and paper ruled, and the faithful PC was still in the womb!

The yellow post card was purchased from the post office nearby for a princely price of 25 paise and a letter drafted. My first letter had approximately 12 complete sentences, that was first written in my rough note book and then transcribed into the post card, taking extra care of my handwriting. That was necessary since these cards could not be hidden with an envelope. Then I walked over to the post office and proudly posted my letter. I began waiting for the response from that day itself!!

After a fortnight of restless waiting, the postman finally brought home my letter! It gave me great pride to see a letter addressed to me, more so the fact that the postman called out my name before handing the letter over to me, just filled me with great excitement. The contents of the letter were no less exciting..!! With my first attempt being so successful, I launched a big time writing spree.. I wrote to my cousins, friends, made a few pen pals, and I just kept writing... and writing. Most of my letters were responded to and that made the postman's visit to my home very frequent. Taking cue from my uncle, I began writing about social awareness in the erstwhile Indian Express.. and can you believe it, I even received emails from the public encouraging me to go on, and an occasional letter from the Government official with an update on the action taken for any complaint that was posted by me.

The habit still continued when I graduated from School and entered college. Even though the PC had been invented by then and emails were being remotely used, I still stuck to my pen and paper. The sheer pleasure of putting my words in paper and the joy of having the postman deliver hand written letters cannot be described in words!

Nowadays, the pen and paper has been replaced by the keyboard and monitor and the postman has been replaced by email! Although it is a sure and quick way of delivering the message, it somehow lacks the personal touch that I long for. This is one thing that my daughter should not miss.. I will encourage her to write letters with the pen and paper... the keyboard and monitor can wait a while!!

Hmm.. Do I hear another "tring, tring"?.. Well.. thats just my son back from his daily cycling routine... so much for having expected the postman!!

.. Help please... I think I am overweight!!

2007-06-16T02:45:00.000+05:30

When was the last time you dared to step on a scale and view the readings without screaming......?? Well, I did it a couple of months ago. I knew that I was overweight by at least 4 kilos... but what the heck, I am a mother of two kids.. should'nt I look like one??.. and just 4 kilos is not going to change my personality... No way!!!

Sadly, my wardrobe seemed to disagree!! My favourite pairs of jeans, the bright red capris, the smart denim skirts.. all had to be stashed away to one corner of the cubboard. Every day I spent a few minutes gazing at these wonderful clothes hoping that I would fit into them again... one day!

I seriously lacked excercise, and my work routine kept me awake at all odd hours. You would sometimes find me having my dinner at 2:00AM in the morning!! I just chose to ignore the issue of being overweight until my husband brought up the subject.He chose his words very carefully, but made it clear that it was probably time for me to seriously consider shedding the additional kilos.

So began my weight loss saga. Determined to give it my best shot, I charted out my little excercise routine and my diet chart. The first week was a grand success. I was really very strict on what I ate, my early morning walks relieved stress, apart from leaving a wonderful kinship with nature. I could feel myself getting lighter!

Week 2 was not as good.. blame it on bad weather! The rains came hard and strong and I could not leave the comfort of my home so early in the morning. When the routine broke for the third consequtive day, I almost gave up. My eating habits also began to vary. My sleep patterns were hap hazard.. thanks to the wonderful work timings that a select few "lucky" people in the BPO industry enjoy. All that was left at the end of the week was a determination to keep going whatever the adversities. I admonished myself for slacking on a well-built routine, and restarted week 3 with greater enthusiam.

Currently I am in week 7. Some weeks have not been as successful as the rest, but everytime someone says "hey, I think you have lost some weight!", my motivation levels soar, and the next few days are much more disciplined.

I am still eyeing the clothes bundled up in the corner of the cubboard... it wont be long before I dorn them with pride and step out with confidence... Hmm each additonal kilo matters!!

... of Women Professionals and Male Chefs...

2007-05-09T11:26:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wondered why although traditionally it is a womans' responsibility to cook for her family, and she does it almost everyday, most world class chef's are MALE!! "Rubbish"!! is what most of my girl-friends told me in the first place, but you really can't hide facts too well, can you?

So, when I was invited for lunch at one of my bachelor friends abode, I brushed it aside as a joke. When I realized that he was indeed serious, I was tempted to check out what he could churn up, given the fact that he was not a regular in the cooking arena, with a demanding job taking up most of his intellectual bank. Surprise, Surprise!! He even gave me a menu. So, appointment set for a Saturday, since I am all out of stuff to do on my weekends, with my kids being away at their grandparents home, I thought that I could probably get there a little early and help out.

Saturday dawned, bright and clear, but with a serious issue cropping up on the official front. Much as I hate to, I had to rush to office to sort out the seemingly threatnening issue. With nothing else running in my mind, I worked mechanically trying to seek solutions. The lunch appointment slowly drifted out of my mind.

"Vidhu, are you going to starve until you finish, You have a solution right? Shouldn't be hard to implement, I think we need to grab a bite, I'm getting faint from hunger, come on lets go.." This comment from a colleague struck like a hammer on my head and I was instantly reminded of my lunch appointment. "Hey, I'm joining a friend for lunch.. you run along", I said before checking the time. It was past 2:00PM. Just then my little talking companion buzzed into life, and sure enough that was my friend sounding a bit offended probably hungry too, checking on my whereabouts. I quickly bought another half hour from him and started homeward, still preoccupied with the problem at work.

When I reached his place, I could smell lunch even before I could step inside. I felt a wee bit apologetic about not being able to get there earlier and lend a hand with the cooking. What I saw truely made me appreciate his efforts. Lunch was ready, kitchen cleaned up to perfection. This did not look like a typical bachelors kitchen. Infact, it was much more organized.

Lets talk for a while about lunch. Hmm.. delicious biriyani with veggies, a cool cauliflower- potato combo and a raitha to go with it. Top it with an icecream desert and, I am not exaggerating here, when I say that lunch was delicious, it indeed was! Probably extreme hunger added more flavor to the food. I had three generous helpings and probably over ate a bit too. My friend mentioned that he had religiously followed the directions provided on the spice packet. I also learnt that he had to get to office too, and had cooked in two instalments, and had rushed to and from work to get lunch ready on time. Hmmm.. Now isnt that really appreciable? I have to say, through these pages.. "Thank you Ravi.. that was one awesome lunch, really appreciate your efforts!"

Now, gals, lets face it.. much as women have entered the professional arena and are excelling in it, guys have entered the kitchen and.. are excelling too!!

Measuring Productivity at Work

2007-05-02T10:22:00.000+05:30

Work expands to fill the time available for it... does this sound familiar?

I have always wondered if I am actually being productive at work. We all have our responsibilities, our deadlines and our priorities. There are some of us who are able to meet each deadline with relative ease, and others who seem to be at work all the time, but still do not find it as easy to meet deadlines. There was a time when I remained at the office for well over 12 hours every day, and worked even weekends. I did get my job done, but I felt exploited. I began to nurse a feeling that I was being over worked with no personal time. It was then that I decided to scrutinize my normal work day critically to determine if I was being as over worked as I thought I was.

I started recording time taken for each activity that I performed at work. From the time I switched on my faithful PC till the time I bade goodbye and shut him down. I spent a minute or two after every half hour to write down what I did during that half hour that elapsed. Here is a sample of what I did:
1. Personal emails..........10 min
2. courtesy hellos to colleagues....3 min
3. Bringing coffee to the desk............5 min
4. Offering a solution to a problem faced by another colleague........8 min
5. Reviewing project documents.......................15 min.

The first day was a real fiasco, I felt that it was a waste of time to record as much detail as I was doing, but I carried on with it, anyways. At the end of the day, I picked up all the activities and the time taken for the activities for analysis. I had taken nearly an hour to make this record, the two minute break after every half hour, was not being just two minutes. I felt that this was a real distraction to my daily routine, nevertheless continued to keep track for the next week. As the days went by, I found it easier to stop and track time.

I then grouped the activities into 3 main categories:
1. Related to the project directly
2. Related to the project indirectly
3. Not related to the project.

After this I positioned each of my activities for the day into one of these three slots. The results really shocked me out of my wits! Although I seemed to be working hard and effectively, I found that I was performing activities directly related to the project for less than 35% of the total time I spent in office. The numbers even angered me, I did not want to believe what I saw, but this was quite substantial evidence of how I spent my time. No wonder I had to work more than nearly 12 hours and stretch during weekends too.

Determined to have a better score, I tried to improve my timings every day, and the % of time spent on activities related to the project directly kept getting better and better. I had changed my way of working. The project trotted ahead merrily and I felt at ease with myself. I had begun working SMART rather than working HARD. The difference was amazing!

This little excercise was a real eye-opener. I found that I was able to crack the project with enthusiasm and efficiency, ontime with highest quality standards. The best part was that I did not find the need to work beyond the work timings, and I had the week ends for myself! No marks for guessing the outcome of all these positive changes!!

I have shared this little excercise with my team members. It is only the awareness of how one spends time at work, that works the magic of trying to get better. Its nice to know that all my team members work only for 9 hours every day, and stay away from work during the weekends, but the work gets done so quickly that everyone else is almost jealous of the way we work. We find time for team outings and weekend dinners when others are sweating it out at work! My little excercise has met its purpose!

Do you feel exploited at work,? Do you feel you have lots to do with really less time? Probably its time to check your productivity... !!

College... and Beyond!

2007-04-23T11:02:00.000+05:30

Like all the girls of my age, all I wanted was to grow up and go to college. Somehow, the prospect of shedding the stiff uniform, complete with a tie and blazer, for a cooler, more glamorous dress, looked appealing. So when the results of Class 10 was out I ventured out into the new World looking for that perfect college. I did have a fairly good score, as far as marks were concerned and hence I was able to get admission into one of the best colleges in Bangalore – Jyoti Nivas.

Strangely, although I yearned for the first day of college, a strange fear loomed large in my thoughts. I had to leave the corridors that had seen me grow from a toddler to a young woman, I had to leave the protective arms of my teachers, I had to venture out of my home of 13 years leaving behind all my friends! Of course there was that fear of ragging.. although the college authorities vehemently denied that their students engaged in this practice, it was secretly carried out to perfection!

The first day of college dawned bright and sunny, and I walked down to the bus-stop, books in hand, smartly dressed, ready to take the plunge into the second half of my student life. The college bus was supposed to arrive at 7:50AM, it would wait in the bus stop for about 15 minutes and then take off to reach college on time at 9:00AM. I had seen the students wait for the bus, envied their careless laughter, and admired their colorful clothes and strikingly good looks. Now, being a part of that crowd seemed a little unnerving for me.

I slowly approached the crowd and stood in the Q hiding my presence as much as possible, for the fear of ragging. In less than 2 minutes, I was identified as a “fresher”. Probably, my nervousness stood out like a sore thumb! Instantly, all eyes were on me, and the gals moved closer to get a quick introduction. I was asked to introduce myself, giving details of my school, my favorite subject, the course I had opted for in college and the reasons for choosing those subjects. That was a fairly easy task, but my confidence levels had hit the rock bottom, for the fear of what might come next.

Sure enough, there was more! There were a bunch of hapless souls like myself, who were also waiting with baited breath for their single task, as a part of ragging. We were told that if we could carry out a single task that the “seniors” asked us to do, to perfection, we would be left to our own devices. The seniors moved from one to another, allocating tasks to each of us. The tasks ranged from proposing marriage to a cobbler who worked at the bus-stop, to going around the bus – stop hopping on one leg, or better still, blind-folded!

When it was my turn, I began sweating in anticipation of the worst. Well my task was to get the handsome guy who was waiting at one end of the bus-stop to carry my bag for me and till the college bus arrived.. That would be for at least 10 minutes! Slowly I walked to the end of the bus-stop with at least a dozen pairs of eyes following me closely. All I had to do was to stretch my hand with the bag, no words spoken; the smart guy just took my bag and slung it across his shoulders, without any other reaction. The girls at the bus-stop were amazed! Not only did this guy hold my bag till the college bus came by, he handed over the bag to me through the window, only when I was comfortably seated inside. Now, that drew a big applause from the gals in the bus! The applause eased out the tension and we were soon chatting like long – lost friends! “How did you do it?”, they asked in unison, and I just smiled and shrugged in response. What would they do, if they knew that the “smart guy” was my good friend of 7 years!!

College life, unlike school was much more fun, with the extra freedom that we were allowed given the fact that we were not school girls anymore. Soon, College had become a second home! We graduated from being “freshers” to “seniors”. We enjoyed every minute of our stay in this wonderful institution, right from screaming till our voices got sore to cheer our college at the inter-collegiate events to the hush- hush preparations for teachers day, to the occasional slips from classes, to the last minute cramming before the exams, we had a complete fun-filled learning experience!

That was 11 years ago! Last month, I walked my daughter into my college just to show her the place where I studied; I was struck by a deep sense of nostalgia. I relived the five glorious years that I had spent there, walking by my classrooms, pausing to sit for a minute on my favorite desk and peeping into the various staff-rooms, hoping to see a familiar face. As I strolled across to the library, I caught sight of my Commerce lecturer. She had become much older now, but I am sure she taught her subject with the same zest that she did 11 years ago. She looked up and she seemed to recognize me immediately. “You belong to the 1996 batch right?” I was floored by her remarkable memory! “ Your batch was the best batch, so lively and full of fun”, she continued. The warmth with which she enquired about me and the liveliness with which she spoke to my daughter and enquired about my other batch mates, left me spell-bound!

“This is the college that I studied in”, I explained to my daughter. My daughter looked around and asked me “Mom, how long will it take for me to finish school and come to college?”

Whale Done!

2007-04-10T10:42:00.000+05:30

What could killer whales have to do with building positive relationships? Amused and curious, I was determined to find out, and let me tell you what an amazing learning experience it has been!

“Whale done” by Ken Blanchard, speaks of the many ways in which people can be empowered to perform well, thus building a positive network leading to success. The book revolves around the techniques implemented by the trainers in training whales to perform tricks in Sea-World, Orlando. Surprisingly, all of it can be implemented successfully on humans too!

Wes Kingsley is curious to find out about how killer whales are trained to perform and entertain large crowds. His curiosity leads him to chat with the trainer, Dave. He learns how trainers’ techniques at Sea-World, Orlando can have amazing real-life results.

Being anywhere near an eleven-thousand pound animal can itself be intimidating. Can you imagine how hard it would be to train them to perform tricks! The first step that Dave mentions as critical is the ability to build trust, and trust is built by accentuating the positives and redirecting the negatives.

This is perhaps the biggest learning ever. It is so true that we tend to focus so much on what went wrong, that we sometimes fail to see and acknowledge all that went right! Dave explains that the more focus there is on a particular type of behavior, the more is the likelihood of the same being repeated! So all we need to do is to accentuate the positives, and when mistakes occur, just redirect or rechannel the energy to something else. The more stress there is on the positives, the more is the likelihood that the behavior is repeated.

The thoughts flow on to the ABC’s of management. A being the Activator, B being the behavior and C being the consequence. Activator is anything that stimulates our performance, in our work environment the activators could be our goals. Behavior is the actual performance and consequence is what happens after the desired performance is achieved. Normally, we tend to focus so much on the activators and the behavior that the consequence, which is by far the most important of all, is ignored.

The book goes on to detail the four types of consequence:

No response.
Negative response
Redirection
Positive response.

The most widely prevalent consequence is “No response”. The attitude of not reacting or simply ignoring when things are going well enough, is so common that it is almost perceived as normal. What is more disturbing is the negative response. Negative response can be any kind of criticism. As is evident, both these responses do not contribute to accentuating the positives, and are best avoided.

Redirection is rechanneling the energy, when things go wrong. Redirection is very important as it has the potential to convert a negative into a positive! The following are the steps to the redirection approach:

Describe the error as soon as possible without blame.
Show negative impact
If appropriate take the blame on oneself
Go over the task in detail and make sure it is understood
Express continuing trust

Well, the last and the best of all is a positive response to behavior. Redirection is one step to a positive response. Spontaneous and true appreciation can double the motivation levels. It is important to praise progress or even a step in the right direction, not waiting until the ultimate goal is achieved.

Then the book goes on to detail the difference between the “GOTCHA” approach and the “WHALE DONE” approach. The Gotcha approach is catching people doing wrong, and the Whale Done approach is catching people doing right. Sadly, what we see in most work environments today is the Gotcha approach. When everything is going right no one seems to bother, but the minute something goes wrong, all attention and focus is on the perpetrator!

The Whale done approach teaches us to catch people doing right. The following are the steps listed for a clear Whale done process:

Praise people immediately
Be specific about what they did right or almost right
Share positive feelings about what they did
encourage them to keep up the good work

It is important to note that Whale Done works only when you are sincere and honest!

Wow! What an eye opener! There are so many occasions when people do right repeatedly, but are not praised or acknowledged. Let us wake up today and catch people doing right… and applaud them for a job “Whale Done”!

How today's marriages are made..Help for my Bachelor friends.

2007-03-24T05:14:00.000+05:30

“I am fed up of living alone, doing my own dishes, washing my own clothes, cooking my own food, hmmm I think ‘now’ is the right time to marry”

This is the familiar voice of the mid 20 plus bachelors who live away from their families, hanging on to that dream job. It is ironic that these were the same cool dudes in college who preached about being out of responsibilities and enjoying the bachelor’s party every day! There comes a day, when the party is not fun anymore and life becomes a bore, challenges limited and the most basic of all, maids become expensive! Pizza’s and burgers are not cool meals anymore and the taste buds long for some home cooked food. The search for the soul-mate begins then!

The problem with the slow-starters is that by the time they realize the need for a soul-mate, they are left far behind in the race with a lot to learn. They just do not know where to begin! Some of them resort to matrimonial sites, which is by far a very lucrative business right now. These sites do build acquaintances, but in my own personal opinion, the success rate that can be attributed to making real marriages is much less than what is advertised. Internet can sometimes be an unreliable repository of false information that makes the task of filtering the correct information from the incorrect ones, a Herculean task. There is however, hope since the world still has some genuine people who also use the internet as a medium to build relationships.

The second option that some of them find amusing and sometimes beneficial is to have a closer look at the people they interact with, maybe colleagues at work, maybe friends, maybe some other acquaintances, sometimes even just girls at random. While this can be a good time pass, results are seldom achieved through these efforts. But not to lose hope, there are some successful marriages that come as a result of “just thinking a little more” about the girls they already know. Friends can be very helpful sometimes by creating that crucial link by looking out for suitable soul-mates for our bachelors’.

The last and by far the most successful of all efforts will be the ones that are put forth by the Dadi’s and Mami’s, Amma’s and Akka’s. They will leave no stone unturned, no marriage unattended, to look for that suitable girl for their “beta”. Their networking is so strong and their experience so vast, that they are likely to be successful in introducing our bachelor boys to their prospective brides. They do a lot of ground work before actually introducing the gals to the guys, so their method is time tested and seldom fails.

This is the true advantage of being an Indian, you don’t even have to take the effort to find your soul-mate, it comes ready made labeled “arranged marriage”. The name sparks a lot of opposition from guys and gals as youngsters, but when they are more mature and begin to understand that they could still use help in finding their life-partners, the concept of love after marriage seems agreeable.

The next steps, well, ring the bells, the wedding bells!.. “……….to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

To all my bachelor friends out there looking out for that perfect soul-mate,… wish you good luck!

House hunting… anyone?

2007-03-22T16:11:00.000+05:30

It is said that a person who owns a house has only one house to live in, but a person who doesn’t has the whole city full of houses for him to choose from! Wow! looks wonderful on print, but is it really easy to find a house on rent or lease in the Garden City? Well I just learnt a thing or two about this in the last couple of weeks.

I have never really set foot into house hunting. I have been blessed with the pleasure of having my own roof over my head for quite a while now. So, when one of my friends wanted help in house hunting, I was excited to try my hand at this new adventure. I wanted to do it by myself to get first hand information about this art.

I stay in a residential area strewn abundantly with lovely houses, some of which are ready to be let out. The trick was to identify the ones that are vacant and the ones that are occupied. Well, start off with a survey of the locality, that’s what I thought is the best approach. Armed with the mobile and the Airtel network I set off, making stops at each and every “To-Let” boards and dialing the numbers that were displayed prominently. Some of the conversations were pretty interesting:

Me: “Hello, I am calling with ref to your To-let board in HSR layout”
He: “Helooo!, which sector of HSR?” (Apparently this was not the only house that the guy had to let out ).
Me: “Sector 7, 22nd cross.”.
He: “Oh, ok.. That is a beautiful 3 bed-room house, with excellent interiors,, wonderful neighbors… etc etc.. the rent would be 12K pm, plus a monthly maintenance change of Rs 300 water and electricity will be extra, plus...”.
Me: “Wow! That is a wee bit expensive..”
He: “Ok, what is the range that you are looking at?” (Sounding like a typical salesman at a cloth store)
Me: “Well, I am looking for a place for my friend, who is a bachelor and lives alone, so 1bhk should do fine”.
He: “Hmm.. actually if you walk down a couple of metres there is one more building that is ready to be let out.. but that one has only 1 room, we can make a kitchen.”.
Me: “Make a kitchen?”( I was totally confused)
He; “Well, we will get a table which can be used to prepare coffee, bread toast etc., that will be charged extra of course... and we make it a point that there should be at least 2people staying in the same room.”
Me: “Huh? I told you my friend is a bachelor who stays alone….”
He:. “Well, he needs to get a room mate.. And the rent for the room (pigeon hole) is 5,000 pm.”
Me: “How big is this room we are talking about?”
He: “Well large enough for 4 people to live comfortably that is the reason we insist that each room should have at least 2 people. Its always better to stay with a friend than to stay alone.. you will have someone to share your joys and sorrows.. And so on...”. (whoa!! what concern!)
Me: “Thanks. I’ll get back to you..”
He: “If he is really not interested in getting a room-mate, there is another place that is a bit smaller… another couple of metres away.. “

I had to be impolite and disconnect the call.

The next guy I met in person..

Me: “Hi, I just saw your ad that you have a house to let?’
He: “Well, “had” would be better; all the houses are taken, there is one though on the third floor”
Me: “Can I have a look at it?”
He: “Is it for you?”
Me: “For my friend” The guy gave me a really quizzical look…I got the point on time and added “He is a bachelor, works in Electronics City” (stressing on the “He” a bit harder)
He: “Ok, Go ahead and have a look” (Still refusing to remove the stare from his face”
I did have a look and return to get the details of the rent and other conditions..
Me: “What is the rent you are expecting?”
He: “Are you going to decide for your friend?”
Me: “Does it matter? I need to give him the details, right?”
He: Hesitating considerably, still staring...” that would be 4K pm, electricity and water extra”
Me: “Thanks, I will have my friend take a look”
He: “Where is he staying now? Why does he want to move from there? ( .. and I thought that such questions were asked only at Job interviews!)
Me: “I will bring him over, you can ask him yourself”

I had to stop the barrage of questions and leave some for my friend to answer!!

There was another person whom I contacted who said that the house was really cool, brand new etc. The reality was that it was new to the point of not having completed the circle of construction! Another friend provided a contact who in turn directed me to a couple other house owners... all had the same issues, either the house was too big, or too small, but either way too expensive!!

At this point, I just decided that it does not hurt to get help. I requested a real estate agent to help me and instantly he referred me to a house that was actually located just a couple of metres from my own house!! Hmm...These people are really good at what they do. I just lived so close by and did not know that the house was vacant! I guess the deal is closed here and my friend feels the house is ok.

Whoa that was one crazy experience! My phone rang a couple of minutes later and I was glad to speak to another good friend after a long time..but wait until you hear what he said.." Vidhu, I need a house yaar... a two BHK.. in and around HSR, and its kinda urgent.. do you think you can help?"

World cup.. India’s performance!

2007-03-19T16:19:00.000+05:30

The fever is on!! For once I do not mean the most hated chikenguniya or dengue, I am referring to the world cup fever!

Much debating has taken place over India’s dismal performance in the opening match. True, the “Men in blue” could have done better. The batting was dismal, so was the bowling. The poor performance left the cricket crazy millions stunned and angry.

I have been reading about the attacks on the houses of cricket players, burning of effigies of our captain, and condemning remarks about the team. While the anger and resentment is truly justified, the way it has been dealt with is not probably expected of responsible citizens of the Country.

Let’s remember that it is the same team that we glorified each time they won. It is the same Rahul Dravid that we named our King, and the same Dhoni who was considered an Icon. Just one poor performance cannot overwrite all their achievements.

To get to the elite 12, each and every member has put in his best. Mistakes and failed strategies are a part and parcel of every game. It is rightly said that “the greatness of man lies, not in never falling down, but in rising every time he falls”. Let’s help Team India rise from their fall. Let’s reconfirm our support and wish them luck.

Cricket is just a game. A game will have a winner and a loser. What we now have to do as true Indians is to stand up and voice our support for the 12 representatives of Indian cricket. The game is not over yet, our voice of cheer will definitely be a motivating factor for our cricketers. More than anything, we have to say “Let the best team win”, but hope that the best team is our own Indian team!

Go Get it India!!

Your day is as good or as bad as you want it to be!

2007-03-18T23:17:00.000+05:30

The alarm clock, the most unpleasant and loudest sound on earth, jolted me out of my sleep and ushered me into yet another Monday morning. Too tired to open my eyes fully, I glanced at the clock and decided that it would not be harmful if I could just catch a couple of winks more of blissful sleep. When I finally got into wakefulness it was well past 7:30AM!

With a deep sense of urgency, I woke my kids, I am sure my voice sounded unpleasant to them too. When they were finally awake, they began fighting over who should get hold of the toothpaste first! My clock was ticking and I had to hurry through preparing a simple breakfast, getting my kids to hurry up with their morning routines, bring out their uniforms and shoes, ensure that they got to eat something, check if they had all their books, pack their snacks and water.. the list seemed to be endless, especially when the time allocated for all the tasks was merely 30 minutes! I tried to relax and take deep breaths and do one thing at a time.

Just as I was struggling with getting things organized, I heard a loud smash. A few hurried steps to the hall brought me face to face with disaster! My son had dropped his glass of milk, breaking the lovely glass tumbler into a million pieces and drenching the couch and him with milk. I was being pushed to the edge and I just blew up!

I screamed at him for being careless before bringing out a new set of uniform and asking him to change. He was obviously upset and began crying, which only aggravated my anger. I pushed the bowl of cornflakes and told him to hurry up with it, using the same tone. The atmosphere was tense. My kids did not have a good Monday morning. It was too late to let them finish their breakfast. So I rushed them to the end of the street, from where the school van would pick them up. Unfortunately, the school van had left by then! Too bad!! I had to walk them over to school now, how I wish I had taken that extra effort to learn to ride a bike! When I finally reached school, I had to get special permission to get them in, as they were late! My son walked into school without turning back to say goodbye, eyes still misty, probably hungry from missing breakfast and tense that he was late for the classes!

I had to rush back home and rush to office for that important meeting that was scheduled early in the morning. I almost ran all the way back home to pick up my handbag and mobile and rush out. Now, left at the mercy of the auto drivers of the garden city, I tried to focus on the tasks I had to accomplish prior to the start of the very important meeting, glancing nervously at my watch, hoping that it would just stop for a few minutes and give me the much needed break.

As expected, I was delayed for the meeting. The tasks prior to the meeting had to be left behind as there was no time, I ran into the meeting room, without the key inputs that I was supposed to have generated earlier in the day. No prizes for guessing the outcome of the meeting!

My whole day was ruined!

I returned home in the evening, cursing my day, only to find that my son had had a very bad day in school too. He was hungry and upset and still refrained from talking to me!

As I prepared my evening cup of coffee, I tried to look back at what went wrong since morning, what was the root cause for the bad day, was it the alarm clock? Was it the urge to sleep a few minutes more? The kids? The glass that was broken? The spilt milk? The traffic? The fact that I did not know to drive? Or was it just ME?

The results were all over the place.” I” was responsible for all that transpired on that day. The one minute “blow up”, caused the schedule to become totally messed up. Retracing my steps, I thought of how I could have made this day better for me and my kids. Isnt it true that people who fly into rage always make a bad landing! All that was needed to make my day better was a minute of patience!

We cannot attempt to change the circumstances that we are in, but certainly we can adapt ourselves to suit the circumstances. We choose whether we want our day to be good or bad, fruitful or boring!

Your day is as good or as bad as you want it to be!!

Our Iceberg is Melting!

2007-03-15T07:00:00.001+05:30

HPerhaps the only thing constant in this fast paced world is “Change”. Change management is a very important ingredient in the menu for success. Starting from a product that has become obsolete to a process that has gone wrong, what is necessary to salvage the sinking ship is “Change”!

“Our Iceberg is Melting”, by John Kotter is a wonderful book that describes the essentials of change management. Kotter’s style of presenting true managerial techniques in the form of a fable is truly appealing.

Kotter lectures on change management by narrating a fable of a group of penguins located in Antartica. The penguins are complacent in their iceberg, a perfect place that is just right for them, until one of them discovers that their iceberg is melting! The need to change the complacent lifestyle becomes a necessity. The fable deals with how a team of five penguins with varied skill sets is able to convince the group of the necessity to change.

Fred, a very curious and observant penguin first identifies the problem of the melting iceberg. He brings it to the notice of a daring no-nonsense leader Alice. Alice, in turn takes this to the leadership council and then to all the penguins in the group. There are penguins who accept, others who are skeptical, and few others, who write off the whole discovery as rubbish. The fable deals with how the team is able to achieve the change that they envision in spite of all the hindrances!

Through this fable, Kotter emphasizes the following 8 step process for successful change:

Identify the problem and get others to see the problem.
Pull together a guiding team
Develop a vision or strategy.
Communicate for understanding and buy in.
Empower others to act
Produce short term wins
Don’t let up!
Create a new culture, make sure the new culture replaces old traditions.

It is evident that in order to keep the wheels of success rolling, there is a need to change. It does take a lot of courage to release the familiar and embrace the new, but it is the pathway to growth and sustainability… so “Change before you have to!!”

Trip to Shivagange… (HRIM Weekend escapade)

2007-03-12T10:15:00.000+05:30

Two Weeks ago, Chandra (Chand) had a dream, a rather daring dream, to convince the team to participate in a trekking expedition to Shivagange (A wonderful trekking spot 70Km from Bangalore). Most of us were not used to trekking and were miles away from a proper exercising routine. The plan was communicated to the team and was received with a lukewarm response. We were skeptical of our mountaineering capabilities. But, being a typical marketing man who is able to make a mountain of a molehill and sell climbing equipment, Chand was able to convince most of us into signing the dotted line and accepting the challenge.

14 brave souls assembled on in HTS campus at 7:45AM on the 10th of March, 2007, ready for the big challenge. It was a rather hot day, clear skies with no predictions of rain.. all good for that perfect trekking experience.

The trip started off to a banging start, with the vehicle making a brief stop to fix some minor issue. Once that was done, we were on our way a noisy group of 14 employees, who had let their hair down for the ultimate party. Anthakshari, PJ’s and of course Chand’s non-stop talk about processes, six sigma etc., (Guess this guy really works!), and threats from Amit and others stopping him for brief intervals, made the journey quite amusing.

Our first stop was at Vijya Vittala temple, also known as the Bhagvat Gita Temple. The temple is an architectural masterpiece, with wonderful sculptures of the Gita upadesh and of course the massive idol of Lord Krishna, in his Vishwa roopa. The temple authorities did allow us to take a few pictures with which we could capture our awe for eternity.

After this we were off to Shivagange, driving through the “crazy as usual” Bangalore traffic. We reached Shivagange at 12:40PM and headed off to the Shiva temple. This temple is special because the ghee that is used for the abhishek of the Shiva lingam, turns into butter. Beats logic and is absolutely awesome to see it happen in front of your own eyes. Despite the fact that the temple was built inside a cave and was terribly hot and sweaty inside, the divine presence made a big difference. We returned from the pooja full of wonder at what we had witnessed.

We decided to take a quick break for lunch before heading for the peak of this mountain. The “quick” lunch break was not that quick, and we were finally ready to climb at 2:15PM. The initial stages were not bad, but got progressively tougher as the height increased. The guys, Chand, Ravi, Amit, Kishore, Darwin, Sanga and Sudhi, could have reached the peak in one hour, with their prior experience and the extra fitness levels that is genetically inherent in men, but they were willing to slow down for the sake of the ladies.. Ranbir, Harini, Sambhavi, Reetha Nalini and myself. After what seemed to be a Herculean task, we were able to reach the first stop, another temple, Olakallu Theertha. Here, there is a small opening which contains water (believed to be holy). It is said that when a person puts his hand into the opening and is able to get water out of it, he is a “good” person. The reality is that the water is deep and only people with long arms can get to the water. So we returned from this temple as all “good” guys and all ‘bad” gals!!
Already tired from having walked (read climbed) for nearly an hour, some of us decided to stop from climbing further. The guys rubbished all our thoughts and egged us on with words of motivation, promising that the end result would be worth every drop of sweat and every ache of the body. So, although we were not really convinced, we decided to move ahead.

Songs, jokes, Chand’s promises that we were “only 10 minutes ” away from the peak, kept us good company as we sweated it out rising higher and higher. At many places the rocks were too steep and slippery. Every time we looked up, the peak seemed to get higher and higher. What really kept the women going was the loud motivation from the guys. They kept telling us that we should not give up and kept cheering as we crossed each milestone, slowing down to reach out and offer a helping hand whenever we needed it. After what seemed an eternity and with at least 4 breaks in between and 3 hours behind us, we finally made it to the peak!

What an amazing sight awaited us!! The absolute freedom that is experienced from such heights cannot be restrained with words. The joy of having achieved coupled with the sheer excitement of the view around us was absolutely exhilarating. We spent a good 30 minutes at the peak, visited the Shiva temple there (yes! There is another small temple here too), before we began our descent.

The descent was much less stressful, and took us a whole hour less than the ascent. Isn’t it so true that to climb high in life is really tough, but it takes much less time to slide downwards!! Nearly 6:50:PM by the time all of us set foot on the flat ground. We started off from Sivagange towards Bangalore at 7:00Pm. The journey back home was less noisy, but still enthusiastic. Thanks to this wonderful trip, we learnt two important lessons: Nothing is impossible… it may just be a little tougher and secondly, Team work always Works!!

Live life to the fullest... stay young!!

2007-03-10T04:14:00.000+05:30

What is it like to swim against the tide? Tiring? Stressful? Challenging? Well, the best persons to answer this question are the numerous employees in the BPO and call center sector. They arise when the set sets.. and work through the night, defying the laws of nature. The work they do is not always pleasant. Most often work pressure suffocates the youngsters and kills their ability to grow and learn.

There is an old saying “ As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold”, What I would like to say to this is why not try cold coffee instead..? Adopting the right attitude can covert negative stress into positive growth. Work is either fun or drudgery, it depends on your perception. Perceive work as monotonous and the greatest of jobs would be just mundane, try innovations at whatever you do, viola!! you have a wonderful challenging job! Whatever you do, do not forget to get a good laugh at least twice a day. You cannot hold back a good laugh any more than you can the tide. Both are forces of nature. So go ahead and let go..!

These are some everyday events at our crazy work place. Take a peek at some of our ways of beating stress and keeping the atmosphere lively and loud..!

One of my colleagues has the responsibility of reporting human resource statistics and analyzing the results. One day he was generating a report and could not co-relate some cities that he saw on the report with the relevant states. Thinking that a map would help him, he printed out a couple of copies. Another curious colleague asked him why he was printing out maps. He responded “I just want to ensure that everything is in place”, sending roars of laughter across the floor. The poor guy did not comprehend what was wrong for a long time, and when he did, he quickly clarified about the importance of maps in his reporting function.

I belong to the human resources information management department. This essentially is a department that is placed in isolation because of the sensitivity of the information that is handled here. Hence, we are located in a separate building with dual access points. One day over tea, I casually mentioned that our floor looked dull, and we need to do something to brighten it up. I requested all the team members to put down a couple of points that would support this endeavor and pass them on to me to initiate the process of brightening up a dull work-place. I received an overwhelming response. Most of them talked about preparing colorful posters, decorating the pin-board, using bright colors on the walls etc., one of my team members even said that in order to have a colorful floor, we should hire a couple of air-hostesses, (preferably steal some pretty gals from Vijay Mallya’s group!), to replace the security guards! The best one that I got was from a female colleague who simply said “wear a smile and stay young.. Its contagious and makes the place lively and colorful”

Stress is an unsolicited perk that comes with Jobs such as mine. On one particular day, nothing was going right, I had a project presentation scheduled for the next day, and the tool that we had developed as a time saver, was just returning wrong results, making me very nervous. One of my colleagues decided to lighten up the situation. He came up to me and said, ”Hey Vidhya, what are you doing tomorrow morning?” I replied mechanically, ”Nothing much, why?” He adopted a tone of request and said “Would you mind accompanying me?” “Where to?” I asked curiously. “Big bazaar... they have an offer going on now... it says bring anything old and exchange for new.. Would you mind coming?” Now, that brought a smile to my face. When I mentioned about this to my husband he promptly replied “That was not a very nice thing to say!, By the way, how long did he say the offer was valid?” So much for guys and their strange ways!

On another one of the crazy days, I had an IM (Instant message) from our directors’ in US. “Yo Vid, have a couple of minutes? I have a question for you.” Of course I could not refuse a Director some time, so I answered in the affirmative. Pop came the question “What did you have for breakfast?” I almost fell off my chair! He mentioned that it is good to start a stressful conversation on a lighter note and then moved on to the serious work related questions.

Our Operations manager is always a busy person. He always has hundreds of issues to resolve and is always seen doing 10 things at the same time. One day, I needed to speak to him for a couple of minutes, so I approached him and said “Hey, can I disturb you for a second?” To this he simply replied “No need to ask…haven’t you disturbed me already?”

I could quote hundreds of such everyday happenings that make it a pleasure to come to work. We are a whole bunch of positive people. A little crazy but full of life, probably, that is the reason we are able to excel in whatever we do.

So, live by example.. wear a smile.. Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries, Think positively and put your best foot forward… success cant be far behind!

Trading happiness for.. software!!

2007-03-07T16:33:00.000+05:30

It was a warm and wonderful Sunday afternoon. The mild breeze carried the fragrance of the flowers; the leaves of the huge trees hustled gently as if they wanted to share a secret with the heavens. The vibrant voices of the children echoed from the nearby park. The large pool had at least a dozen enthusiastic swimmers with room for many more.

Away from all this hustle and bustle, sprawled on his bed was a 29 year old software engineer. The thick curtains of his room kept the sunlight away. The sound proof walls kept away the pleasant sounds from outside. The air conditioner operated on high keeping the room cooler than required.

The 29 year old had a brilliant academic record. He was employed in the best companies in town and had a brilliant work profile. Not to mention the fat pay check he took home every month. He had the trendiest car and the coolest electronic gadgets in his possession. He had a closet full of designer clothes and shoes. The latest addition to his list of assets was a flat in one of the premier residential complexes.

The flat was a big catch. A huge comfortable house located in the heart of the city, but in a calm and serene location. “Heaven on earth” is what the advertisement read, and true to this saying, the apartment was most beautiful and calm. The flat was tastefully decorated by the best interior designer in town and furnished with the most expensive designer furniture. It was complete with all amenities, luxurious and exclusive..

The tranquility inside the house was broken by the incessant ringing of the alarm clock. The unwelcome noise pushed the young engineer out of his dreams into the world of reality. He stretched himself and opened his bleary eyes and glanced at the watch. It was past 12:00 noon, just four hours since he hit the bed. He dragged himself out of bed and walked over to get a cup of coffee.

He picked up his coffee and ambled across to the balcony. The surroundings seemed noisy. The balcony felt hot and humid. He looked up at the sun but quickly looked away. It was not long before he espied Sam, the construction worker who lived with his family in a nearby makeshift house. People in the locality were familiar with Sam. He ran errands for the people in the complex, from washing cars to paying bills, all to supplement his paltry daily wage of Rs 50/-. Life was hard, but Sam never grumbled. He was preparing for his Sunday afternoon siesta. He put down a battered mat on the uneven ground before his makeshift house and lay down under the sun and closed his eyes. In less than 10 minutes, he drifted into peaceful sleep.

Our software engineer felt an overwhelming pity for Sam. He felt sorry that Sam had to sleep on hard ground without anything to support his head. He noticed that the sun was right over head with beads of perspiration forming slowly on Sam’s forehead. The area was dusty and noisy. The engineer looked behind at his own house and was struck by the stark differences between the two.

Just then, he saw something that caught his attention. Sam’s wife, Jessie came out with a small bundle of old clothes. Very gently, she placed the clothes under Sam’s head. She wiped off the beads of perspiration with the ends of her saree pallau then, sat beside him fanning him with a piece of cardboard. The noise and dust did not seem to bother Sam. He slept like a baby. The lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass seemed more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug. The engineer wondered… is this what they call being at peace with oneself?

The engineer had a beautiful house, but no one to share it with. He had the most comfortable bed, but no time to sleep, he could afford the most expensive food, but lived out of coffee most of the time, and he had a closet full of expensive clothes, but had lost his smile! Was he happy? Did he have time to enjoy life? Well, not until today. “But, I am going to change”, he decided. He looked around; the heat did not bother him now. The cool breeze refreshed him. The kids’ laughter brought back a smile to his face. He walked into his house, kicked off his footwear and walked on the bare ground. It felt divinely. He pushed back the thick curtains and invited the sunlight into his room. He smiled and watched the sunbeams dance into the room with the carelessness of a teenager. Wow! This is life, he thought.

His thoughts were disrupted by the ringing of his mobile. He frowned slightly and answered the call. “ Hey Amit? Two bugs discovered in the program...need to fix it by evening.. got to get the code ready for implementation…….” Amit answered “ I will be there in half an hour… the code will be ready for implementation by COB today”

In less than 10 minutes, Amit was ready for his software responsibilities. He drew the curtains back in place, picked up his laptop and headed for the door. Before venturing out, he put on his sun glasses and strode briskly towards his car. As he was getting ready to drive away, Sam came running to him, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He thrust it in front of Amit’s face, grinning broadly. On the paper, scrawled were the letters “S A M”. “My son taught me to write my name”, said Sam. “I want him to grow up to be just like you”. Amit gently patted Sam on his shoulder and said “Are you sure……..?”, before he drove away into his software world!

Strange Friendships!!

2007-03-04T19:22:00.000+05:30

“It’s too quiet for a Friday evening”, she thought as she opened the door to her suite. She had a smug, complacent smile on her face, and why not? Her trip had been a smashing success. Her week long meetings had been nicely wrapped up. She had been able to sell her idea and had left a lasting impression on her business partners. Her bosses in India mentioned that they were glad that she was chosen to represent them and she was glad that she had not let them down!

As she shut the door behind her, a sudden sense of loneliness took over. She had had a very busy week meeting new people, saying hurried “hellos” to her old pals, but never had she been alone! Now that she had absolutely nothing to do and the fact that the weekend stretched lazily ahead of her made her wonder what to do with all the time!

The television had been her companion in loneliness. So that’s the first thing she turned too. Surfing channels, all she heard were predictions of bad weather for the next two days. These predictions only meant that she had to be confined to the comfort of her suite with no scope for adventure.

Next, she turned to her faithful travel companion, her link to her homeland, and infact anywhere in the globe, her laptop. She spent the next couple of hours devouring all the news across the planet. Wrote to all her friends and then logged on to the messenger service hoping to find any of her old pals online. It was a Saturday morning back home and she hoped that at least a couple of her friends would be online. Unfortunately none of them were! Duh!! What hard luck!

She had heard of chat rooms before, but never visited one earlier. Well, why not try now, she thought. After all, her boredom had pushed her to the limit. She logged on to a couple of chat rooms admiring the innovation that people had exhibited in choosing their ID’s. Before long she had a dozen requests for initiating chat. Well, the planet was obviously home to a greater number of bored persons than she had ever imagined.

Of all the persons she met that day, a few made an impact and went on to become good friends.

One of them introduced himself as a mainframe programmer. She found an interesting match of interests. Both had a passion for books. Before long, they began discussing books, authors themes and plots with the ease of old pals. She found him to be very informative and vouched that she will keep in touch, with a hope that he will help her choose the right books. Happiness is always doubled when shared, but the passion for books always triples or quadruples when thoughts are shared. Interesting…! She had found friend number one! This friend is one who inspired her to read more, write more and find time to relish life’s wonderful offerings!

The next person introduced himself as an employee in a drug research company. What hooked her on to this person was another passion that she nurtured… art! He said that he did paintings and yes, that was a “Wow” factor for her. She continued to discover many aspects of this quiet personality and of course learnt quite a bit about paintings. Behind the quiet countenance was a dynamic personality, with varied interests. Yes, she had found her friend number two. Later she discovered that her young painter friend was also a scientist who had a cool doctorate under his intellectual hat!

Next person she met was a marketing executive. She found that they shared no common interests. He hated reading, did not have the eye for art. He did not enjoy cricket and the PC was his best friend. Somehow, the differences seemed appealing. Before long, he had introduced her to his family, spoken about his career, his education, his love for challenges, aims to reach the pinnacle of growth and keep his parents happy. Hmm… a person with strong family bonds, that was friend number three. A lively, cheerful person who could make even a stone laugh..!!

Friend number four was an engineering student in the most admired city of palaces. She found in him the right mix of fun and seriousness. She found the strong urge to succeed and an attitude that would warrant a second look. He was open to advice and a patient listener. They could talk about anything… from college to career, guns to gals! Strangely, he wanted to take her guidance on all important aspects in his life! Wow, she was sure impressed with his gentlemanly ways!

She was just signing off when the silence of the room was broken by the pleasant ring of the telephone. “Hey, what are you doing all alone? Join us for dinner? I’m coming to pick you up in half an hour.” That was her dear old colleague…Probably just back from work.

Loneliness had made an unceremonious exit by now. She was a busy person once again. She had less than 30 minutes to make herself presentable and hop out for another wonderful evening!!

High and Dry in Allien land!!

2007-03-01T10:27:00.000+05:30

My latest trip to the US was a complete fiasco. For starters, I hate the one week escapades. It means loss of two weekends being “air borne” and in transit. It also means the unsolicited jet lag added to the baggage of tired bones. Also the fact that my kids exams spread through the length and breadth of the same week, did not make the prospect of travel any merrier.

Nevertheless, I went through the lengthy procedure laid down for foreign travel (Semler’s thoughts have not reached our Company yet!!) Our dynamic travel desk moved from a “No” to “Maybe” and finally to “Yes” and churned out the confirmed to and fro air tickets to Newark and back. With my air tickets confirmed in one day, I had a couple of hours to grab a few clothes, organize travel documents and other official documents and head to the airport with Dan Brown’s “Digital Fortress” to keep me company for the twenty two hour journey!

The first leg of the journey was uneventful. Paris was a maze, as usual. With each trip through this airport I discover more and more changes. The three hour stop over was just right to get to the correct terminal on time.

From then on, in true “Air France” style, we were delayed by nearly four hours after boarding the aircraft, which meant that we had to wait on the runway staring at each other and cursing every thing that we could think of. For me, I had Dan Brown for company, so it was not that bad after all!

When I finally landed at Newark International Airport, in New York, nearly five hours beyond the scheduled arrival time, I was totally famished, fatigued with every muscle in my body begging for rest! I passed through immigration, found my baggage in one piece and moved to the exit. Strangely, my adventure began then!

My first stop was at the pay phone, where I intended to call a friend who had volunteered to pick me up from the airport. And as expected, I needed a couple of quarters to accomplish this task. I managed to get a dollar changed and headed back to the payphone, wallet in hand, too tired to put it back into the backpack where it rightfully belonged. I placed the wallet (Read passport, return tickets, dollar currency, Indian currency, credit cards, Company ID card and insurance papers) on the counter and proceeded with the call. Somebody had fruitfully used those few minutes to sneak my wallet out of the counter. I discovered the loss as soon as I turned around after making the call. I was totally dazed and shocked, a minute ago I was a visitor on business, but now, with my passport gone, I literally had no identity!!

A few more moments of extreme anxiety and frantic searching brought me to a trash can in the vicinity, where I found my wallet, of course much lighter now, since it was relieved of all the currency, traveler’s cheques and anything of value to an outsider. The gentleman chose to return my passport and return tickets, and I must thank him for it! I was absolutely elated on discovering my passport and cared less about anything else. Feeling much relieved, I was able to call the cops and report the loss. In approximately seven minutes 3 cops and 5 detectives headed in my direction. Questions shot from all angles, I was almost as nervous as the perpetrator of the crime!! The cops then told me very frankly that they were doing this to report the crime statistics only. All I cared about was their report that I would need to get my TC’s cancelled by Amex!

Suddenly I realized that I was left high and dry in an alien land with as much as 50 shillings in my coat pocket. Still enough money to make one more phone call!!

God realized that I had messed up enough already, and took over from then on. Like magic a colleague from my Company appeared and drove me to his home, calmed my nerves, made me eat a good dinner before driving me back to the hotel!

Luckily the rest of the trip was not that bad. The meetings were a roaring success and I did get to meet a whole bunch of people, made some more good friends and did some shopping too.

It is said that “Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit”. I, for one, truly know those five minutes that gave me a whole new experience of being penniless for one day in a foreign land!!

What my kids taught me!

2007-02-28T10:32:00.000+05:30

I often talk aloud to myself, and today was no exception. I was totally stressed after a bad day at work and mused that I should write something to ease my stress. “Mom, write about warm blooded and cold blooded creatures”, said my son with great enthusiasm. “Yeah, warm blooded, like me and cold blooded...like him”, volunteered my daughter, before she darted out of the room suppressing a giggle, with my son following close at heals threatening to kill her. I could hear their innocent, uncontaminated laughter ringing in my ears, long after they had left for school!

How I long to laugh like them!! Why did I ever have to grow up? Why is it that the innocence and wonder in the child’s eye is replaced with worry and helplessness as we grow up? Where do we lose that enthusiasm to live and happiness in little things? How is that we fail to notice the rainbow or listen the winds? Why do we stop deriving pleasure from life’s little offerings?

Just take a moment and look around you, Life is so full of promise, so full of joy. Yes, it is rightly said that “There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child”. So, let that child in you not die a slow death. Rekindle the curiosity in life, explore the unexplored, gaze at the stars and listen to the sea and never resist the urge to throw a snowball!

A man is not old until regrets take place of dreams… I hope to keep dreaming!!

My Review of Ricardo Semler's "Maverick"

2007-02-27T03:41:00.000+05:30

“Maverick”, a rather unusual title for a book on business management, coupled with the rave reviews that I got from a friend, prompted me to lift this book off the shelf from the bookstore and bring it home. I must say that this must be one of the best things that I ever did over the weekend!!

Ricardo Semler’s lucid style of writing spiced up with his outrageously radical thoughts make this book a feast for the mind!

Imagine a workplace where you do not find the pretty woman at the door to smile at you as you walk past (yes, I am referring to the receptionist), imagine a workplace where there are plants in lieu of internal walls, where there is no organization chart, where workers fix their own pay scale and increases, where employees don’t have cubicles designated to them and are free to work from any branch, where the employees recruit their bosses, where workers set their own goals, productivity targets and work timings, where employees are treated as adults and allowed to take important decisions for the company, where protocol is thrown into the winds and common sense is placed on priority.. I could just rattle on and on. We are not talking about a small family business here; rather the company referred to here is Semco one of Latin America’s fastest growing companies, which has been acknowledged as the best places to work in Brazil!

Semler’s honest admission that it has not been an easy transition and the fact that the he had to fight the cynics and go through bad phases makes a positive impact on the reader. I have personally tried to implement bits and pieces of his management technique in managing my own team … believe me, it works!!

Companies may shy away from such drastic changes, but a few of his thoughts are definitely implement able. Here, I must quote Semler, “ A turtle may live for hundreds of years because it is well protected by its shell, but it moves forward only when it sticks out its head”

“Maverick”, is definitely the book for people who are in the management to do some introspection and improve, for the employees to get some great ideas to dream about and for book lovers.. this is just another awesome book that you can’t put down!!

I am trying to get hold of Semler’s second book : Seven day Weekend. So it will not be long before I write about that book!